(Wedding) Gifts Registration （结婚）禮品登記

In America, people give gifts in many occasions, such as graduation, birth of a child, or a wedding.  For big occasions like wedding, many engaged couples register with department stores, listing the items they would need in their married life.  Friends and family who can choose their gifts from the list, which usually have different price levels to suit people's varied ability to pay for gifts.  Of course, people still can send gift they deemed more appropriate not included in the gift registries.

For a wedding, the gifts can be brought to the wedding or separately, usually with identifications so the bride would know whom to thank for the gifts her spouse receive - it's a custom that bride should write thank you card to the people who send the gift within reasonably time frame.

在美國，人們有很多送禮場合，如畢業，孩子出生，或者婚禮。對於重大的場合如婚禮，許多未婚夫妻在百貨公司登記，列出他們在他們的婚姻生活需要的东西。朋友和家人可以從禮物表里選擇禮物，它们通常有不同的價位，以適應人們的不同支付能力。當然，人們仍然可以送他們認為比較合適的，不包括在禮品登記内的禮物。

就婚禮而言，禮物可以拿到婚禮或另送，通常包含​姓名​標識，讓新娘知道感謝誰的禮物 - 習俗是新娘應該在合理的時間框架内给送的禮物的亲友寫感謝卡。


"Red Flowers" - Oil on Canvas © Matthew Felix Sun

Buying Books and Paintings from Friends or Asking for Free

Recently I read some comments online saying that amongst Chinese people, when one has a book published, many friends and acquaintances would ask for a free copy.  The comments saying that in the West, people recognize the time and energy authors put into the work and usually would not ask for such free copy.

The comment was, though a bit sweeping, more or less on the mark.  Indeed, recalling my life in China, I remembered that many people I know who had published something usually gave free copies.  It would be insulting to ask friends to buy one of the books.

This is the same as painters, mostly in Chinese style water color on rice paper, and calligraphers.  People would make great efforts to ask accomplished painters and calligraphers to give them something.  Considering the execution time in that style is rather short - they practice hours upon hours to perfect a stoke, usually they would oblige, after some deflection.  This kind of obligation is very hard not to comply.

In order not to devalue their commercial works, usually they would state explicitly on the painting or calligraphy that the work was given to such and such exalted person and that little statement usually greatly dent the price of this work if it ever reached market.

In the US, I did give something away to great friends but not often.  My family members and friends insist on paying me for my labor.  I have attended book-signing events when my friends had books published and we  buy a copy of the book at full price and have our published friends sign the books.  Nowadays, even have a book or two published doesn't improve one's financial standing.  It's also our humble way of supporting our friends. 






最近我看了一个網上評論說，一旦中國人有書出版，許多朋友和熟人會讨要一個免費書籍。该評論說，在西方，人們承认和尊重作者投入的時間和精力，通常不會讨要求免費書籍。

这个評論，雖然有點太笼统，或多或少击中目標。回顧在中國我的生活，我記得很多人赠送他们出版的書籍，很多人也主动索取。要求朋友購買的他们的書籍是对朋友的侮辱。

畫家也一樣，尤其在中國式的宣紙畫家，和書法家。人們會問下大力氣求有成就的畫家和書法家給他們一些作品。畫家和書法家通常花大量時間练习，以致精湛，但他们实际操作時間则相當短，因而這種義務很難推却。

為了不让他们的商業作品貶值，他们通常會在繪畫或書法上列明，這个作品赠给某位贵人的。如果有人日后想卖它们，这样的語句通常使该作品價格大打折扣。

在美國，我的确给过好朋友一些东西，但很不經常。我的家人和朋友堅持要為我的勞動付出代价。我曾參加我的朋友們的書籍出版的簽售活動，我們以全價買下書，然后请我們的朋友簽名。如今，有一兩本書出版並不能改善作者的財務狀況，這也是我們支持我們的朋友的卑微方式吧。

Medical Records Protection 保护病例资料

In the much publicized Murdoch bugging scandals, one thing was perhaps quite lost to Chinese people
was the significance of the story reported by ABC News: "The Sun [one of the newspapers owned by Murdoch family] went much further when it allegedly stole Brown's family's medical records."

In the U.S., when a person takes medical leave, he or she even does not need to tell supervisor what troubles him or her, while in China, illnesses are openly discussed and commented upon and there is hardly any concern for privacy, not just amongst families and friends, colleagues are usually informed of every details of the ailments.

This is not to say that an illness is automatically concealed in the U.S.  People often choose to share certain information to let their immediate colleagues to understand their issues but usually it was expected, implicitly or explicitly, that the information should be kept confidential and it would up to the patient to choose what they want to disclose and to whom.  Medical records are very personal and private as well.

Therefore the Sun's behavior so unacceptable in the west and rather not an issue in China.

在廣為谈论的默多克竊聽醜聞中，有一个故事的意義也許令中國人很不解。

美國廣播公司新聞報導：“太陽報 [默多克家族擁有的報紙之一] 走得更遠時，涉嫌偷了布朗的家庭的醫療記錄。”

在美國，當一個人需要请病假，他或她甚至不需要訴上司煩惱他或她的是什麼，而在中國，人们公開討論和評論疾病，幾乎沒有对隱私的尊重，而这不僅僅限于家人和朋友，同事通常也会被告知疾病的每一個細節。

這並不是說，在美國病人會自動隱瞒疾病，人们往往會選擇某些信息，讓他們同事了解他們的問題。但或明或暗，這些信息應予以保密，並由病人來選擇他們想要的什么透露給誰。病歷也是非常個人的资料。

因此，太陽報的行為，在西方是不能接受的，而在中國则不是一個問題。