Showing posts with label Gift. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gift. Show all posts

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Buying Books and Paintings from Friends or Asking for Free

Recently I read some comments online saying that amongst Chinese people, when one has a book published, many friends and acquaintances would ask for a free copy.  The comments saying that in the West, people recognize the time and energy authors put into the work and usually would not ask for such free copy.

The comment was, though a bit sweeping, more or less on the mark.  Indeed, recalling my life in China, I remembered that many people I know who had published something usually gave free copies.  It would be insulting to ask friends to buy one of the books.

This is the same as painters, mostly in Chinese style water color on rice paper, and calligraphers.  People would make great efforts to ask accomplished painters and calligraphers to give them something.  Considering the execution time in that style is rather short - they practice hours upon hours to perfect a stoke, usually they would oblige, after some deflection.  This kind of obligation is very hard not to comply.

In order not to devalue their commercial works, usually they would state explicitly on the painting or calligraphy that the work was given to such and such exalted person and that little statement usually greatly dent the price of this work if it ever reached market.

In the US, I did give something away to great friends but not often.  My family members and friends insist on paying me for my labor.  I have attended book-signing events when my friends had books published and we  buy a copy of the book at full price and have our published friends sign the books.  Nowadays, even have a book or two published doesn't improve one's financial standing.  It's also our humble way of supporting our friends. 






最近我看了一个網上評論說,一旦中國人有書出版,許多朋友和熟人會讨要一個免費書籍。该評論說,在西方,人們承认和尊重作者投入的時間和精力,通常不會讨要求免費書籍。

这个評論,雖然有點太笼统,或多或少击中目標。回顧在中國我的生活,我記得很多人赠送他们出版的書籍,很多人也主动索取。要求朋友購買的他们的書籍是对朋友的侮辱。

畫家也一樣,尤其在中國式的宣紙畫家,和書法家。人們會問下大力氣求有成就的畫家和書法家給他們一些作品。畫家和書法家通常花大量時間练习,以致精湛,但他们实际操作時間则相當短,因而這種義務很難推却。

為了不让他们的商業作品貶值,他们通常會在繪畫或書法上列明,這个作品赠给某位贵人的。如果有人日后想卖它们,这样的語句通常使该作品價格大打折扣。

在美國,我的确给过好朋友一些东西,但很不經常。我的家人和朋友堅持要為我的勞動付出代价。我曾參加我的朋友們的書籍出版的簽售活動,我們以全價買下書,然后请我們的朋友簽名。如今,有一兩本書出版並不能改善作者的財務狀況,這也是我們支持我們的朋友的卑微方式吧。

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

What (Not) To Bring As Gifts - (不)要带什么当礼物

While cleaning my drawers, I encountered some gifts I brought with me from China to the U.S. near twenty years ago.  I had never found an appropriate opportunity of giving them out.

They are quite proper gifts actually - small tea cups, fans, silk handkerchiefs, clay figurines, postcards, embroidered table decorations, etc.

In general, it is very hard to give gifts in the US, particularly those exotic gifts we brought from China -- they are often in appropriate, because of the style, taste or value.

In the US, people often give small gifts such as flowers, chocolate, etc. to show appreciation, and gifts from China often seem too serious.  For major events, such as wedding, brides and grooms usually register with department stores and list what they desire as gifts.

More over, the gifts with distinct Chinese flavor can be hard to sell - Americans who do like those exotic items are in clear minority.

I remembered that I tried to give my first academic adviser a set of Great Wall postcards (very cheap and appropriate) but still he declined after carefully and respectfully viewed all the postcards.

For any new comers to the US from China, I recommend bring several gifts, mostly little ones, beautiful but not screaming Chinese.  A few more distinguished gifts can serve in the right moments, which can only in many years' time.

Generally speaking, when you give gifts to people you are not familiar with or have higher social standing, often, you are making them embarrassed.

打扫我的抽屉,我翻出一些近二十年前我从中国带到美国的礼物。我始终没有找到了一个适当的机会把它们给出去。

它们其实是很适当的礼物 -- 小茶杯,风扇,丝绸手帕,泥人,明信片,绣花装饰表等

在通常情况下,很难给美国的礼物,特别是我们从中国带来的异国情调的礼物- 往往因为风格,品味或价值不适当。

在美国,人们常送鲜花,巧克力等,以展示赞赏或感谢, 但来自中国的礼物,往往显得过于庄重。对于重大的事件,如婚礼,新娘和新郎通常百货公司登记,列出他们希望得到的礼物。

进一步,具有鲜明的中国风味的礼物也很难出手 -- 美国喜欢那些外来品的确为少数。

我记得我试着给我的第一个学术顾问一套长城明信片(很便宜,很合适的),但他恭恭敬敬地仔细观看所有的明信片,仍然谢绝了礼物。

对于任何从中国到美国的新来者,我建议带几件礼物,大部分小礼物,漂亮却不尖叫中国特色。几件更出众的礼物也可以,在合适的时刻给出,通常在多年以后。

总之,当你送礼物给不熟的人, 地位比你高的人, 往往让他们很尴尬。

Red Flowers / 红花 / Rote Blumen
Red Flowers
Oil on Canvas
© Matthew Felix Sun
www.matthewfelixsun.com